just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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