garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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