Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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