The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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