He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
