Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
