if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
