I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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