I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
