my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
