I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
