Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My cat gives me a boner
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
