ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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