we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize