and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
