Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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