i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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