i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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