This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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