i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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