You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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