i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
