she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
