I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
