...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
