it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
