My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
