she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
