It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
