it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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