there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
