Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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