Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
