you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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