Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
