When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He better not be in your backpack
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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