i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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