The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
