Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
