We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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