I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
