I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
