New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
