I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
