I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Randomize
