yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
