Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
kristin has been a bad kristin
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
