They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
