dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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