How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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