Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
