I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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