I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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