Pants 0. Shit 1.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
