I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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