let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
