that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
