question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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