you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
