Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
