The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
