you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
