did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
