dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
