Only a mothe r could love this liver
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
