My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
my nose is crying tears of wow.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
