Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize