Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just invented taco cereal.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
